I've discovered that parenting is a road you walk down and sometimes you feel like you're in the dark. You've asked for help and read the books and, well, the light you've been given still doesn't seem to help you miss those pot holes! Sometimes, the road seems to turn and bend and you just didn't see it coming. A few days ago, was one of those days. I've heard other adoptive parents talk about it, and I knew the day would come, I just didn't realize it would be this particular day. A few days ago, we had a friend over for dinner. They have a little boy that Sawyer has seen on numerous occasions. Well, on this day, as soon as Sawyer caught sight of baby Marcus coming out of the car seat he said, "Oh my gosh (don't worry we dealt with that later : )! Mommy, he looks like me!!!!" I just stopped and looked at him! Up until this point he has seemed oblivious to this fact. He then went on to talk about his hair and his skin and how he and Marcus were both chocolate. : ) The next morning, he was sitting in bed with Libby and me, looked down and said, "Oh my goodness! Mommy Wibby looks like Jackers!" Since then, it's come up in conversation almost every day! There's never been any sadness about it, just stating facts.
There's a part of me that wishes he could go on with life and never notice. I know there is a very real possibility that at some point in his life his story may cause him sadness and as his mom I wish I could keep it from happening. We will always do our best to help him see that there are many kids and families that are "like him". I'm so thankful for the famillies that God has brought into our lives who have already adopted and those to come. I will try my best to help all of my children see that they are special just the way God made them and that He doesn't do anything by accident. As much as I want him to feel secure in who he is and the family God's placed him in, his real need is another adoption! So while I will pray and try to help him feel secure, I'll be praying harder for him to see his sin and need to become a son of the King. It's then and only then that he'll find true security and identity . . . and more people "like him".
3 comments:
Wow. You definitely should have put a "hanky" disclaimer on this one! I hope one day our kids can be secure in who they are in our families, knowing where they came from and the love that brought them in. We pray constantly for this for ours, and all the adoptive families we know. But you said it right, until they know the love and security of our Savior, they won't quite grasp the small snippet of it that we have for them!
Ok. Must go read something lighthearted now! ;)
i love reading your posts cause i can hear you so clearly! i also love those kidos of yours and you and ian so much! what a beautiful example of the gospel the Lord has given you in your family (:
Lauren, Thanks so much for sharing this. It's so good to be reminded that our little one's adoption by the Father is much more important than her adoption by us. I both dread and am looking forward to the day that she'll realize that she doesn't quite look like us. I'm so thankful that God has put us in a church and given us friends who are dealing with the same thing.
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